Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
