she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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