I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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