He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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