My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
