All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
