I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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