I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
