Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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