I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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