sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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