Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
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Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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