I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
