after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
