okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
