MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
