I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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