dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
