But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well you can't waste a boner
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
