Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
nutella sex= disaster
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
