Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
