$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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