look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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