I got chris browned last night
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
