We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
