Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's never too late to be topless.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize