I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When are your genitals available?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
