but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You smell like stripper and shame
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
