Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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