I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
