i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
