just come out here and I will go home with you...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
