I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
