Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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