Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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