Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
