Apparently you make a good broom.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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