soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
