My brain says no but my pants say off.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
