i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
