My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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