blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize