I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
