he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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