the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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