I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
