Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
