God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
