You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize