I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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