it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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