He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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