How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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