about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
