It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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