dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
