i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
