I am puke
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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