Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
