I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
