Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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