ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
