in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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