The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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