oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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